Whhooosaahh

“There is an ancient saying that the sense of a vessel is not in its shell but in the void. So it is with this room. It is for those who come here to fill the void with what they find in their center of stillness.”

I recently was on a ten minute break and ran into a co-worker who was standing in the hallway rubbing their forehead, trying to massage away their stress and control the blood pressure that was increasing by the second.  I looked at them and said “Wooohssaa”.  My co-worker looked back at me like I was crazy and asked me to repeat myself.  “Woosah — calm down, take a minute, breathe.” Or at least that what it meant on Bad Boys 2. If it was in a Will Smith movie, it must be true.

In the everyday hustle and bustle of life, we are constantly trying to find a way to get off the hamster wheel to breathe, even if it is only for a second.  Your day starts at 6am, you get yourself and your family ready for the day, and you go to work prepared to face whatever happens. You spend hours being pulled in sixteen different directions by twenty-four different people, with deadlines to meet and meetings to be had and clients that want it all and they want it yesterday. And then you have lunch and repeat it all again in the afternoon.  You may put in forty hours that week, or you may put in ninety hours that week.  Who knows?  One thing is for sure – the rat race that may be great for your career is definitely not so great for your health.

Doctors and health officials highly recommend that we decrease stress in our lives. Stress puts us at risk for heart problems, mental health issues, digestive disorders, lowered immune systems – it all ties together with your state of mind. But mediation and relaxation – even just a few minutes a day – has been proven to increase your ability to fight off illness and increase your endorphins. Endorphins are those invisible neurotransmitters that tell your brain that you’re happy. The more endorphins you produce, the happier and less stressed you’ll be in the future. In other words, actively working to reduce your current stress levels will cause you to experience less stress later on. And less stress means happier employees. Studies have shown that employees who keep stress to a minimum take less sick time, have increased productivity, and statistically have fewer errors in their work.

Many corporations have started to notice the benefits of stress-free employees. Apple, Google, Nike, and HBO are just a few of the mega-conglomerates who are encouraging their workers to take life easier and pace themselves. These companies have done everything from relaxing their dress codes, to encouraging job sharing, to opening entertainment rooms and letting their workers take an hour here and there for some TV time. Some have even added mediation and relaxation rooms to their office space, complete with mediation consultants who will work with the employees on stress-reducing techniques. You only need to look at what these corporations are producing – both in terms of product and profit – to see the results.

There is so much information out there about the benefits of having relaxed and calm employees in the workplace and how this can benefit to both our companies and workers. So why are so many of us still stressed out to the point that we’re missing out on our personal lives because we can’t step back from the office?  My advice: Lock yourself in a bathroom stall for 5 minutes and Woosahhh. Trust me – you will feel much better.

What does your company do to promote relaxation and de-stressing in the workplace?

Separation Ringxiety

I recently had a friend reach out to me through a social media app that I have on my phone.  What gave me a laugh is the manner in which he reached out, along with a recollection of the last time I had seen him; sharing an impromptu golf weekend some two decades ago.

What made this trip in the early 90’s so memorable were the circumstances that lead up to it.  We had both endured a hellish week at the office, and felt absolutely justified in leaving at noon; fully deserving a couple of days of nothing.  And by nothing I mean golf.

Of course, not five minutes after merging onto one of the 70 lanes on the 401 in Toronto (it has since expanded to 300 lanes), my cell phone rang.  It was the office.  I took the call (it was legal back then.).  While I was on my call, my friend’s phone rang.  It didn’t matter.  We were on our way to an incredible golf course just a couple hours away in eastern Ontario.  What’s a phone call?  After only a few minutes, we both laid down the electro-cinder blocks.  Done.  Onward.  To the golf cou…  BRRRINGGGGG….

Phone call.  It was his.  It was a client.  Not a problem.  We’re on our way to play gol…  BRRRRINGGGG….  Okay.  This time it’s mine.  He’s on the phone anyway, so I might as well get it.  Bzzzzzzzz…   Bzzzzzzzz…. As I’m on the phone, my pager goes off.  Not a problem.  I’ll return the call after I finish the one I’m on.  I end my call and start dialing the number that paged me (work) because I want them to know I’m going to go golfi… BRRRRRINGGGG…   It’s John’s phone again.  It’s the office.  They’re asking John if he has seen me.  They just sent a page, hoping to catch me before I was out of town.  It had been well over three minutes since the page came through, and I haven’t returned it yet.  John passes me his phone.  BRRRRRINGGGG…  my phone rings while I have John’s to my ear.

And then it happened.  After my call, John put down the passenger seat window, and out it went.  The most advanced technology (to ever fit in what was then the size of a toaster oven) was now out the window.  My turn.  And I did it.  I disposed of it.  I was free.

It was, without question, the most liberating feeling I had had in years.  Euphoria.  Primal screams followed. We had just killed the beast!  By slaying this dragon, we were disconnected from the outside wor…  Oh… my…  GOD!  I’m disconnected from the world!  What if my wife goes into labour?  No… she wasn’t pregnant, but what if she was?  What if my parents were trying to call?  Sure, they call me at the home number every Sunday at precisely the same time, but what if this one time they were trying to get a hold of me?  What the hell have I done?  And my clients!!!  What if, on this Friday afternoon, I had a client who was desperate to reach me?!!!  Sure, we had a support team that was second to none.  I had an assistant that was more capable than I.  I haven’t had a client call me in a panic in two years… but what if THIS ONE TIME they really needed me?  Oh God!  What have I done?

I was miserable for the remaining two hours of the drive.  I knew I was disappointing the world with my selfish act.  I remember imagining the forty voicemails that I’d have.  I knew at least one person would call the police, and possibly every hospital in the Toronto area, desperate to learn that I was okay.  John’s anxiety wasn’t different from mine.  We had disappointed the world.

We got to our destination.  I checked in as quickly as possible, grabbed my room key, waited in an elevator that moved at a painfully slow speed – evidently aware that I was either without a cell phone or desperately needing to pee.  I lunged myself to the hotel room and dialled in to my voicemail.  I was fully prepared for the turmoil.  I readied myself for the impending doom.  I had done something extraordinarily stupid, and I was about to get called on it.  I should have been available and I wasn’t.

And so, rocking back and forth, taking deep breaths to avoid asphyxiation, phone slipping because of the sweat, I was sent to a state of reality.

“You have…  no new messages”.

The moral of the story?  Nothing changes.  I still check that I have my phone before I dare leave my desk or my house or the office.  I still experience separation ringxiety .  And you still don’t stand a chance of reaching me this Friday afternoon.

Not that you were going to try anyway.

How do YOU deal with separation ringxiety?